Monday, August 15, 2005

Guarded pride

Note: Did i say fiction is not my piece of cake? Forget it. Here comes new short and sweet(?!) effort of mine.

Where are my insurance papers? I remember keeping them on computer table. Now I find no trace of them. Kausalya is the only person rearranging things in the house in the pretext of keeping the house neat and tidy. “Kausi, did u see my insurance papers. I need them urgently.” I shouted.

It seemed that my wife was least interested to answer me. That aggravated my anger and as a hurt lion I roared this time. Though Kausi did not rush out of the kitchen like a meek deer, she did come out with inquisitive face.

“So u want ur insurance papers. I am no guard of papers u have thrown carelessly here and there. I did not touch ur papers. It will be there were u have kept. Let the hell break, I cannot help u atleast for 20 minutes. Chottu has to get ready for school”, saying this, my wife went to fetch little Chotu from the bathroom.

I was left with no choice. Had it been some other time, Kausi would have succumbed to my shouting. But not when Chottu needs her. I always get secondary treatment, a thing which I badly wanted to complain to my mother. Cursing my fate, I carefully analysed my office bag, checked for the papers in my shelf and also took the pain of scrutinizing my pant pockets. But no, nothing helped me.

It was well over 20 minutes and I did not succeed in my attempt of getting my wife’s help. But I could not give up. I need the papers badly. So, I went to my clothe shelf, pretended checking for those papers, and started throwing my shirts out of the shelf. I know Kausi could no longer bear this rogue way of finding the lost thing.

“U r such an impatient fellow. U want me to arrange ur shelf the whole day because u threw ur papers carelessly? Just get out of my sight. I will get u those papers.”

Having given the responsibility to a responsible person, I was damn sure that she will get them for me. I just went near her to see the progress in the work she had been doing. She was now out of that shelf and was researching the old cup board which serves as dumping ground for all unwanted stuffs. But I resisted. ‘Kausi, there is no use looking there.’ But she gave an I know look and ignored me.

As she was investigating, I found four of my books bundled together and kept safely in that cup board. Those were the books I was half way through and badly needed those two months back. I thoroughly scanned the house and concluded that they were lost. I was happy that atleast now I got them. Also became extremely angry unable to bear with Kausi’s habit of hiding things that were unused for sometime.

Opened one of those books and started reading from the bookmarked page. I was so lost that I forgot that I had to get ready for office. I almost completed 10 pages when I heard that thud.

Kausi was standing beside me. ‘I scanned the full house. No such papers are there. I think u have kept it in ur office itself. Why don’t u check them there?’

Now, I could not control my anger. ‘u call urself educated. But keep on rearranging things from one place to another. See these four books. Do u remember, I asked for them two months back and u swore that u knew nothing about them. I found them in that cup board. Who else could have kept them there apart from you? The same thing has happened to those papers also. U wanted to keep the whole house look good, that u shifted those papers probably to dustbin. I will check the dustbin before it is emptied’.

Having invoked a guilty feeling in her, I found her searching talents at their best, which covered every inch of the house. But I could not keep my mouth shut. ‘better I will keep all my belongings in office itself. Because, anything which comes inside the house apart from my own body is found missing. I cannot think that an educated wife can be so careless about important papers kept.’

Though she badly wanted to open her mouth and answer me back, she was unclear whether she had shifted those papers. That doubt in her mind made that moment a little peaceful and gave me courage to enrage her again. After all, there are hardly few moments when she does something wrong and I get a chance to shout at her. I did not want to loose that opportunity.

‘Let me leave now. Today is the last day for filing returns. What if have to pay few thousands extra to the government? That atleast relieves u of searching for those papers’, I said those words, wearing my shirts, though I did not even have the slight intention of leaving the house without getting those papers.

Tensed Kausi gave me a pacifying look and begged me to wait for few more minutes. I accepted showing my grimaced face to her.

When I turned my head something caught my attention. What was that paper laying in my office bag? I went near my bag, after checking for Kausi’s presence. Finding her busy in some other room, I analyzed my bag. Those insurance papers were in my bag, safely filed in the outer folder.

Thank God I got those papers. But what if she knows that it was my entire fault? Nothing of that sort would happen.

I made a brave face, arranging my bag and looked at Kausi. ‘Do not pain urself searching for those papers. I remember having kept a copy of them in office. I will check for them and will call u. if necessary, resume ur search then. It is already late. I will call u. Bye’. Without giving a pause, with great caution not to invoke her doubt, I was almost rushing to get out of house.

Kausi gave a suspicious look, thoroughly taken back by my magnanimity. She almost wanted to ask a dozen questions, but I would not be there to answer her. I nearly flied to reach my Maruti, leaving for office after waving at her affectionately. After all, we men know how to guard our pride, atleast in very few occasions like this.


Blogger Tantalising Tycoon said...


Feministic one.. But Nice one.

The Tycoon....

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 3:01:00 AM  
Blogger fieryblaster said...

feministic? in what way?

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 3:08:00 AM  
Blogger Tantalising Tycoon said...

U have expressed the feelings of a Wife in the shoes of a husband..
Well Wasn't that a criticism made on the Husbands..
What do u say??


Thursday, August 18, 2005 12:08:00 AM  
Blogger fieryblaster said...

no. this is does not depict anything of that kind. nothing but an incident narrated. well if u can infer it that way, nothing wrong. :)

Thursday, August 18, 2005 5:32:00 PM  
Blogger Tantalising Tycoon said...

I am quite ok with it.
Well What happened other commenting friends...


Friday, August 19, 2005 6:53:00 AM  
Blogger shawnwarner9758 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Friday, August 19, 2005 11:56:00 PM  
Blogger thennavan said...

A female writing from a male standpoint makes for interesting reading but I want to know if things like this happen these days (husbands throwing temper tantrums and wives being stereotypically docile). I thought everything was "ultaa" these days :-)

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 1:22:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


couldnt find a way to leave a post in the prev blog on vaishnavism et all. so doing it here.

"iyer" "iyengar" are a Govt of India caste classification terms that might have come into existence in the mid-90's. "Hindu" is a term also suspected to be a british invasion. The moment you stop using these terms and start referring to Hinduism as "sanaathana dharma" you are on the right track.

in the old days people followed mutts. "iyers" are those who followed mutts created by Adi sankara's followers. "iyengars" are srivaishnavites. Where sri == goddes lakshmi. They essentially follow mutts created by ramanujas followers.

Ramanujar was a rebel disciple from the adi sankara school. While in those days ramanuja and sankara did not discuss siva-vishnu in a degraded sense like discussing kamal Vs rajini fights.. the saints were extremely intelligent and esoteric.unofrtunately the later generations scewed it up.

Adi sankarar wrote "Bhaja Govindam". So he knew what he was talking about. I guess if you want to learn anything serious start the way i started..learn basics of advaitham, vishishta-dvaitham, and dvaitham and then read ramayana mahabharatha.

because ramayana and mahabharatha (gita) are linked to the bhashyam (commentary). The bhashyam can be advaitham or vishita-dvaitha bashyam. This willl color your understanding of the epics depending on which bhashyam you study. this is very important.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 2:16:00 PM  
Blogger Hawkeye said...

should have said 1900's instead of 90's and should have said invention instead of invasion

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 2:17:00 PM  
Blogger fieryblaster said...

@ Thennavan:
this is milder version of agonies undergone my women. u r right that it has reduced in numbers to a great extent. actually i thought of writing something funny, and ended up writing this.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 9:50:00 PM  
Blogger fieryblaster said...


this comment enlightened me on various aspects.

neither was i too narrow while i was writing that blog. the one single point which i wanted to stress was iyengars know more abt our religion than we iyers.

the whole thing got misinterpreted and started getting comments, which warranted me to give a detailed explanation. i thought i was writing too much to convince others, while my intention was genuine. hence i blocked the whole comment section.

as u said, i will start digging in abt advaitham.

let me tell u, this was the first matured comment i got for that blog. (though u may consider that writing itself as immatured:))thanks.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 9:50:00 PM  

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