Saturday, April 16, 2005

Who is He?

The day was demanding and I was utterly tired. I retired to sofa, munching chips to pacify my crying stomach, but it claimed more. So, happily ate whatever was served on my plate and was wondering how could I while away my time.

My mother, who was silent till then, opened her mouth once I was done with my plate. Told me that my cousin brother died in an accident. That was a terrible shock to me. He was just 28-year-old chap, married just a year ago. Though we were not closely knit with that family, I always liked him a lot for he was straightforward and genuine. He earned in lakhs, all because of his own will and efforts, and gave solace to his widow mother. I felt bad for his young wife.

Only the terrible moments like this make us to think about God. Usual dialogue is, “No one knows what will happen tomorrow. It is He who disposes.” I wondered if at all He is there? What role He plays in my life?

When I analyse my 26 years on earth, I realize that nothing was out of my hands. I am blessed with good parents. Was showered with opportunities and I chose the one I liked. Did my best. For me, the rewards were proportional to my work and if at all I am thankful that is only to my parents.

When something went wrong, every time I had a chance to blame myself than any one else. Equally, when something goes right, I don’t hesitate to take the credit, for I am very much a part of it. So, my life goes by logic. Hence I don’t believe that God will make magic. Hey, sounds rhyming. Seems that I have become a poet. Forget it and now back to subject.

One thing, which I have noticed, is that success comes more easily to some than lot others. Probably, that they term it as luck. For some, life is always a cakewalk, while for others, it is a difficult climb. Does this mean that God has a say in these persons life? Then, why does not He uses his logic and goes by something which we do not understand? If His world goes by logic, why I am not able to catch that logic?

At this point, let me accept one thing. I have felt His presence. But still confused. Is the one which is driving me is my mind power or God power? When I am given a terrible hit, I won’t allow it to let me lay on my bed for days together. I am quick to bounce back to life, with all mental energy. Who gives me this strength? Am I blessed with this to make up for the ones I am deprived off? Does this mean that every ones life is as balanced as that of mine?

No, I cannot come up with an answer. That will be too much from me. He has different meaning and different form in everyone’s life and I am incapable of defining Him. Everyone perceives Him in his own way and loves Him uniquely. My conscience is my God. Or God is my conscience? Don’t know. But He is the one who always came to my rescue when I felt terribly bad. He is the one who gave me confidence to face the world. Hence my Lord, I fall on Your feet for making me stronger. I fall on Your feet for making me blessed. I fall on Your feet for making me what I am today.


Blogger Thayirsaadham said...

Hey, Its so well written. It was like somebody actually writing about me!Like the saying goes, The more hardworking you are, the more luckier you get.I have never questioned the presence of supreme power that is beyond all of us.I think that is God. I think you are in the right track . I like your practical approach to things!Sorry to hear about the demise of your cousin.

Sunday, April 17, 2005 4:33:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good one as long as language is concerned. But the previous blog (God I am blessed!) are contradicting with each other. I feel this one doesn't convey your actual stand regarding God's presence.

Monday, April 18, 2005 7:46:00 PM  
Blogger fieryblaster said...

Any ordinary man will dwindle between faith and disfaith in God at different point of time. While the first one assumed His presence, the recent one started as a debate, in the end of which I convinced myself about Almighty's presence. By the way please do leave ur name at the end.

Monday, April 18, 2005 7:58:00 PM  

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