Friday, April 08, 2005

God I am blessed!

A small neglect, a small defeat, a small fight is all enough to put my mood off for a day. I curse the Lord for making me feeble, less blessed and at times prone to others’ attitude and activities. Depression is a common experience to many adults and I fall prey to it most often. It demands no solid reasons and blocks my mind as an unsolicited guest.

This week I was in one of those weaker moments, cursing God and myself for making me unfortunate. But then, how do I classify myself as unfortunate? Gave a deep thought about this issue.

That person is unfortunate who has narrow and mean mind. When I see self-centered people, giving a contracted definition for every aspect of life, judging people with their own biased lens, praying to God for their own well being, opening their mouth only to speak about the concerns of their life, shunning other person ruthlessly at the hour of need, I deeply mourn for them. They play an endless game of catching happiness, in which they find themselves always in race, never winning the trophy.

That person is really unfortunate who has the incapacity to think. Dimness with added arrogance is the height of ill fate. Inability to mend one’s own life, being in dark about the bends, which are to be straightened and being content with the timid goals demanding no great efforts, corners one to the verge of life.

That person is unfortunate who runs behind money. Life is a beautiful garden with rich trees and sweet flowers. Beware, water is needed only to nourish the garden, and a flood will definitely ruin it. Finer aspects of life are almost forgotten, and fake things delight them more. A simple food, which is hand eaten, skillfully served on green leaves kept on the floor, delights me more than the one consumed at expensive dining tables with silver spoon. The thing, which separates us from our tradition, which makes us to easily ignore and underrate others, makes one live in illusion for the whole life.

That person is unfortunate who is timid. Courage is a wonderful aspect in human life, which prepares one to venture into unexplored and uncovered path. A worst thing, which can happen to one, is to submit oneself to other’s dominance. A fierce fight, at the needy hour to get back the lost glory is a best feed for one’s self respect.

But I know, I have none of these traits. I have trained or rather forced my mind to go through a wider circle. (Ya, still it is a circle). I have trained my mouth not to talk filthy issues. My hands are wider enough to reach atleast few needy. I am capable enough to analyze my weakness and skilful enough to rectify them. Money never thrilled me, as I take pleasure in doing what my heart dreams. I work for my dreams to come true. And when I have to bark, I make sure I do, feeding my self-respect.

Then why the hell I feel depressed? What made me feel bad about myself? Don’t I have the superior and blessed soul than lot others? Am I not the most fortunate creature gifted with the crucial talents? Should I not thank God for making me blessed? “Oh come on lady. You can do wonders.” Told these words to myself, walked cheerfully to lay one more brick for my glowing future.


Blogger Hawkeye said...

this is a good blog! you expressed some emotions and thoughts wonderfully.

someday when I have more time.. I would like to post a "bathil" blog addressing the same subject.

but a super good blog!

Wednesday, April 27, 2005 8:25:00 PM  
Blogger fieryblaster said...

Hi bharath,

I eagerly await your bathil blog.

Friday, April 29, 2005 7:47:00 PM  
Blogger yengeenadhukavidhai said...

my opinion - feeling good/bad at one's own expense is a noble way of fighting loss/neglect/depression. I object your last few lines - "Don’t I have the superior and blessed soul than lot others?". my opinion- No one is superior to another, its all the matter of conditioning and opportunities. as an aside, just imagine the neglect that you had and what if someone else had the same situation but was able to manipulate it to his/her advantage. would that make that person a superior soul to you?

"Am I not the most fortunate creature gifted with the crucial talents?" - you are, I have absolutely no qualms on it..

"Should I not thank God for making me blessed?" - should you be happy that he gave you this hand in the game and will definitely pull out one in a later game ?

just my thoughts.. as ever, you are your best and worst judge.. pl. never compare..

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 1:11:00 PM  
Blogger fieryblaster said...

@ yenkadhaiveru: this writing should be viewed from different angle. it was written in a depressed state to enthuse myself. ultimately that piece of writing gave the necessary vent for my feeling. it should not be viewed as proclamation of my superiority. but as yelling of a depressed soul to come out from that irritating moment. thanks for dropping in.

Monday, December 12, 2005 12:16:00 AM  

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